Cynthia L. VanGuilder
1958 - 2011
Loading...
j
jim posted a condolence
Sunday, July 17, 2016
still think of you dear one...still feel the impact of your loss... still miss you ....another year goes by....God has been good to me...He has blessed me and keeps me to this day...rest ye, you dear precious lil one....
Jim
J
Jim posted a condolence
Saturday, July 18, 2015
It has been another year...time continues on, stopping for no man..continuously pressing on forward. Time is our best friend, or it can be our worst enemy..
This day brings me rememberance and pause over what we once shared and had together.
I have been doing alot of soul searching over what we once had and shared...
I still think of you often, it is amazing of how much you profoundly impacted my life , both in life, and death..
Say hi to Jesus for me...
Jim
J
Jim posted a condolence
Thursday, July 17, 2014
You are very precious to me, I find myself thinking of you and missing you so much. Thoughts of you invade my mind. I have had lots of time
to think about you and what we had. How we enjoyed one another, went through life together as a couple. Facing both the joys and sorrows of our lives together head on. Life was good for us, even though we had nothing. We may not have had much dollars but we had each other, and that dear one, was a priceless gift.
In terms of medical care, it was top notch, what I liked to call the golden ticket. Nothing was refused to you medically, and I will always be greatful to the governmental agencies that were always so generous to you and to us .
I am thankful you got to spend quality time with your grandson, I know he gave you many hours of joy. He was your little buzzy and the height marks you both drew in pencil on our front door, are still there. I wonder how he is, funny thing about family. Your daughter in law was so supportive, your son, well...lol...that is another story.
I am sorry that you were let down later in life, and that your dreams were never realised. On the surface, they were so simple....a trip to the beach, the petting of a dolphin, and the cruise to alaska...All out of our reach, and yet so simple to obtain it would seem. So sorry we were never able to realise your dreams, both of our dreams.
I realise now how God Himself blessed you and us. It took me a long time to realise that. I heard your prayers to Him. You only wanted one good day, and you would pray that over and over, and it seemed that He would turn a deaf ear to you . But in the end. He proved Himself to be faithful. You had the best in medical care. You lacked for nothing in that department. You had me , I suppose that was a blessing too...lol. We always had a roof over our head, and food in the pantry. We had transportation to get you to your doctor's appointments and to your dialysis. It was very stressful dealing with all of it, but we never wanted for any of the basic necessities of life. Thank you Lord.
Family was a disappointment as usual. Your's and mine. I could go on and on about mine. But you knew about how they were. Your family? Your mother rose to the occasion and fulfilled your last wishes, and gave you a funeral. That was a loving and priceless gift. For that I will always be grateful.
After your death, your son did what we both expected, your family said their goodbyes and well wishes to me. My family rejected me and tossed me under the bus. Again, nothing unexpected there.
But in the end...in the very end......God came forth. He gave you the perfect death. 3 or 4 seconds, no pain, and then you were in His presence. How much better can it get? He loved you , and in the end, answered your prayers. He gave you that one good day you were looking for. He took you home.
Tell Jesus hello for me honey.....enjoy your rest, it is very well deserved....
lots of love... Jim
J
Jim Corbett posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Cindy
Another year has come and gone. I miss you so much. My world is still a lonely place without you in it. I do miss our times together. Even the times when things would not go well. Just having you with me gave me a lot of joy, happiness, and a sense of purpose. I truly did and still love you with all of my heart and soul. Without you in my life, there has been left a huge piece of me missing. A hole that will never be filled. I will miss seeing your beautiful face when I wake up in the morning. Laughing and joking with you, making plans for the day. Holding you in my arms.
I miss you so much, I so very much miss all of our times we shared together. That part of me is selfish. I did not want to lose you when I did. But, I saw your pain, I saw your tears, and the suffering.
God gave you the perfect death. I realize it was your time. I was here and you were gone in seconds. It was merciful of Him. I thank Him for that.
I know that you are in a much better place, that you are free of your pain, of your sorrow, and misery. You have a brand new body without any pain and misery.
I want that for you, you deserve it, every bit of it. But, I still miss you, I still long for you...But I am at peace knowing that you are in a much better place. Continue to enjoy your rest, you really do deserve it, and help Jesus keep me out of trouble as I navigate this world down here on my own...
I love you with all the broken pieces of my heart...
Jim
J
Jim posted a condolence
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thinking of you on your birthday.. Missing you so much...Life is not the same without you...But I comfort myself knowing how much better you are doing now...
Love and miss you
Jim
J
Jim posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sweetheart,
It has been a year since I lost you. I think about all our dreams we had together, things we wanted to do in life, things we never got a chance to do, thinking we had more time.
I miss so many things about you, your laugh, your smile, the way you took care of me even when you were not feeling that well.I miss how you would cut me off at the store when we were walking side by side and you walked around the corner. You would always run me into the wall or some display...lol..It would always put a smile on my face. When you were in the powerchair rolling along you would do the same darn thing. At least you were consistent..lol.
I miss you and your wonderful sense of humor, you always knew how to make me laugh when I was down. You always showed me the positives when our life was so full of negatives. I miss and greatly admire how you ministered to others in the same position as yourself, how you would talk to the patients at the dialysis unit, and at the hospital when we visited them and encourage them with a smile on your face, and kind words, words that were full of wisdom and experience, because you knew exactly what they were going through. You showed them that you really cared about and for them and and that they mattered to someone, namely you.
Even though you were very tired, sometimes nauseous, from going to dialysis 3 times a week, you founded the East Texas Dialysis Support Group. You brought the patients together outside of dialysis , and you all were able to talk about your problems and lean on one another. I know this group was a blessing to everyone involved in it. You had guest speakers every month who would talk about things that were directly relevant to the group. Even though you were sick most of the time you cooked a meal and handled the refreshments for the group, and you were there for every meeting. No matter how you felt. I tried to get you to stay home at times and let me handle it, but you never would let me do that. You always wanted to set an example and be there for your fellow patients, because you knew they needed you and you all needed each other. You had a heart of gold, a heart filled with love and compassion, something that I miss every single day. The world suffered a loss when we lost you. It lost an angel that truly made a difference in the people who's lives you were able to touch.
You were such a blessing to many people. You blessed me the most with the unconditional love you showed to me, and your total acceptance of me in your life, warts and all. Thank you for showing me what true love really was all about. I miss you so much.
I find myself missing you so much, and wishing you were still here with me, that we were still a couple...but I know that is very selfish of me. You are much happier now, there is no more pain, no more crying, no more praying that God would give you just one good day.
Noone really saw the depth of your suffering, except me, and then I really don't think I saw the total extent of it. You bore your pain and misery in silence and with consummate grace , and most always had a smile on your beautiful face. You were and are so very precious to me.
My only source of comfort this past year is knowing that you are finally at peace, you have no more pain, and you are now experiencing joy unspeakable and full of glory...
Pet the nose of the dolphin for me honey, I miss you, and, I will always love you.
Thinking of you, as I do every day, especially this day, the one year anniversary of your graduation into Glory. Say hi to Jesus and your dad for me. I will always love you.
Jim
A
Anne VanGuilder posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
I never met my husband Buds cousin Cindy. But Jim, God Bless You. I read your memories and you are awesome. It takes a real good man to do what you have done. Cindy is at peace knowing she was loved so dearly by you. My prayers are with all her family.
B
Bud VanGuilder posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
God Bless You all on the death of Cindy.
S
Sally Jurkowski posted a condolence
Monday, July 25, 2011
I have fond memories of Cindy from JHS band. She was quick to have a smile on her face and very kind. My sincere sympathies to her family and especially to her sister. I am sure she will be missed.
J
Jim Corbett posted a condolence
Monday, July 25, 2011
Cindy was the light, and love of my life. She was an incredible woman who never got to experience life like others did. She was cheated out of experiencing many of life's joys. Instead she had her fill of life's sorrows.
Cindy had a smorgasboard of serious aliments. She handled all of them with grace and her inner strength. She trudged through life carrying her burdens...she made it look so easy, but it was very hard on her to do. She would smile and joke with her friends and when they were gone, the pain would appear back in her face and she would show her true self to me.. The tears of a clown she would tell me...She wanted to be strong to her friends who needed her to be strong to help them with their problems
Cindy was the strongest person I have ever known, and had a heart of gold and filled with compassion. She was in renal failure, and as a result had to go to dialysis. She endured countless needle sticks,and the problems that come from dialysis that included her blood pressure dropping to 37/27 many times, to her cramping up in pain,...to lots of things that happen to people on dialysis. When she was done with her 5 hour session she would walk around to the other patients and talk to them and ask how they were. She would get their phone numbers and call them on the phone, she would give her number to them and tell them to call her day or night if they wanted to talk about anything...she really cared. She went to the hospitals to see her fellow patients when they were admitted for their various health issues. She invited them all to her meetings. She was the founder of the East Texas Dialysis Support group. Even when she felt so awful, she would hold the meetings once a month. She would provide the refreshments and find a speaker to talk to the group about relevent topics, She did all this because she knew someone "out there" needed help and she did not want to let them down. She said if she did not go, then who would carry on?
It was a joy, as a caregiver to watch the patients interact with each other during the meetings. To share ideas, concerns, or suggestion for improvements to the dialysis treatments that she could talk to the staff at the dialysis center about. That does remind me, she was a representative of the patients at the center to the center management. She was also a representative of the center to the regional directors. She did all this because she wanted to make a difference in someone's life. We drove to Dallas to attend the regional meetings and represent her center. All this was hard on her, but she always found the strength...
Cindy had two dreams she used to talk to me about. She did not want to be super rich, or jet to the carribean... She did not long for the big house on the hill surrounded by a white picket fence...Her dreams were simple...
One of her dreams was just to go to the beach and see what the ocean was like in person, to walk around with the sand between her toes and go in the water. The other dream was to pet a dolphin. She loved dolphins. She got so excited, almost to the point of giddiness whenever a dolphin came on tv.. I can almost imagine how crazy she would have been about the old tv show Flipper...lol. I so wanted to bring those dreams to pass for her , but it all came to dollars, which we had precious little of. I was unable to make those simple dreams come true for her, and it truly broke my heart.
You may wonder, if Cindy was Superwoman....Thats an interesting question... To me, she really was, she was incredible. I am under no allusions, there were times when we had our issues, but we always worked through them. Even when she could barely walk and I was not paying too much attention she would surprise me and put a fully cooked meal on the table right next to me... And it was always soooo darn good. She wanted to make me happy and did those things for me even though she was hurting all the time. Cindy made her share of mistakes and had things in her life that she regretted doing. She always felt bad that she thought she was limitting my life, that I had no life because I was taking care of her, but I reassured her many times that I wanted to be with her and make her life better and easier for her.
I made a choice with my life with Cindy. One that I took a lot of flack over. I knew she needed me, and I decided I wanted to give her my best in terms of her care. I made the decision not to pursue a regular full time job. I wanted to be available to take her to doctors appointments or get her to the hospital if she needed to go. Anyone that has used Medical Transportation to get to an appointment can attest to the desireablity of being driven to an appointment by a loved one. I took her many times to the hospital when she felt she needed to get to the ER. I had part time contracted jobs I did to help bring in some dollars. Making sure she was alright was more important to me then having lots of money or things.. and yes, there were consequences to that decision. We had precious little, but we were happy being with each other. We were in love, and she was the true love of my life. When she passed, my life as I knew it was over.
I was privy to see the real Cindy... I saw her life filled with pain that was not being effectively treated. I watched the tears run down her face and that broke my heart as well. She had trouble eating and the food would come back up an hour later. I could not make it better. Toward the end she could not walk that well, but in my optimism I thought she was tired...She had other issues which I will not go into now, as this is very very long.
On Sunday, July 17th, she was laying on our couch and asked me to help her into a sitting position. I took her hands in mine, and pulled her upright. In the time it took for me to do that, she died. A heroic effort by many people was made to save her, but after 90 minutes the decision was made to let her go... I take great comfort in knowing she was holding my hands when she died. That was my payback so to speak for the choices I made for her care. I was with her, she died holding my hands in hers, she did not die alone. That is worth more to me then all the dollars in the world
I realise this was long, and I thank you for taking the time to read this. I wanted to paint a portrait of Cindy so to speak, to unfold the tapestry which was to represent her life, she is/was NOT just another obituary in the paper or on this site, she was CINDY, she was an incredible woman... I am glad I was given the privledge to live with her, to love her, and to take care of her. I am having a tough time with this as one can imagine, but give me some time, and I will be alright...
Cindy, you will always be in my heart, I love you so much..... I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you tomorrow.... enjoy your rest... you earned it...
Jim
I want to thank everyone for the nice comments about my dear Cindy that you have left.
P
Pat Frink posted a condolence
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Dear Emilie and family, My thoughts and prayers go out to you all. Emilie, my prayer is that you may find some peace and serenity knowing Cindy is being very well taken care of in God's hands. May you also take care of yourself. We share so many great talks and you are a wonderful friend, mother and grandmother to every life you touch. May God Bless you always.
J
Janice & Randy Brown posted a condolence
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Emily, Brenda & George and & Family, We are so very sorry for the loss of your daughter and sister, Cindy. Words can not express what we feel in our hearts for you all at this time. Just know that our continued thoughts and prayers are with you. Love, Janice & Randy & Family
D
Doug Berlin posted a condolence
Friday, July 22, 2011
Dear Emilie, Brenda and Family, We are so sorry to hear about your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Love, Doug Berlin and Family
C
Cecelia and Stub Lavender posted a condolence
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Cindy has been a dear friend of ours the last three years. We have been there many times for her during this time. It is with a sad heart that we have to say goodbye, but we are happy that she is no longer in pain and free of the constrictions of her Earthly Body. Our condolences to her family and her close friend at this time of sorrow.
S
Sue Bargy Cessna posted a condolence
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I remember Cindy as well from Washington Jr. High and JHS. She was always such fun! Laughing and joking in classes and study halls was the norm for us. What a sweet girl! I loved her! I pray that Cindy is at rest with The Lord Jesus Christ now and watching us from above. My deepest condolences to her family.
C
Cheryl Johnson posted a condolence
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I remember calling her "Cindy". I also remember her smile.Her eyes were so happy and filled with kindness. We would walk to classes together at JHS. If I am not mistaken, We were in the Girl Scout Troop 107 at C.C.Ring and Washington JR High School. I am so very sad to read she passed away. To Johnathan, I knew your Mom during our "young" years.She was so very sweet and we had great times together in JR High and High School. To Jim Corbett, Thank you for your care of Cindy. I pray you and Jonathan find peace during this most difficult time.
K
Katie posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Cindy has been a part of my life for the last 10 years. She has been an like a mother to me and the most amazing Grandma Cindy to my wonderful Son. She will truly be missed and thought about daily.
Love always and forever
Katie & Christopher Clark
C
Cindy Rizzo Richetti posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Dear Emilie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you take comfort in knowing that Cindy is at peace and resting in God's arms. I pray that you may also find peace in all of this. Please take good care of yourself and give my best to your family. Love, Cindy Richetti
P
PatriciaVanGuilder posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
My thoughts and prayers are with your family at this time.
J
Judy Geraci Mohney posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
One of my best friends when we were kids; grew up on the same street and spent lots of time together. My thoughts are with her mom, son and siblings at this tough time.
About Us
The Lind Family and associates wish to express our deep gratitude for the confidence, friendship and trust you have placed in us. We are honored to be of service to you and pledge to continue to serve to the best of our ability, with professional care and genuine concern each time we are called.
Our Location
Proudly Serving Jamestown, NY and its surrounding communities.
805 West Third Street
Jamestown, New York
14701
Tel: (716) 664-3800
Fax: (716) 664-2568